Community Questions, Answered
This week I’ll answer three questions from our community that deal with cravings, COVID weight gain, and how restrictive diets can cause digestive issues.
1. Why do I constantly crave crunchy foods - and not celery and carrots either. I mostly want chips.
Thanks for that question! Cravings are interesting because they tell us when we’re lacking something. First, I’m curious if you’re eating enough; three meals a day, plus snacks, is a good place to start. If not, your body may be telling you it needs more food.
Your question also makes me wonder if you’re restricting since diet culture considers most chips to be “unhealthy.” If you’re not eating enough, by eating more regular meals and snacks - including your favorite kind of chips - your cravings, and the guilt that comes with them, will diminish. By not forbidding certain foods, we take away their power.
I know this recommendation isn’t simple to act on since eating more is the opposite of the messages we’ve heard all our lives to shrink our bodies. I encourage you to notice how it feels to eat balanced meals, to notice your energy and ability to focus, and reflect on this.
I also wonder if what you’re craving is always related to food. For me, a craving might also be a signal to connect with others or a more creative side of myself.
2. I gained weight over the pandemic and I don’t fit into some of my clothes that I used to wear to work. I have to go back to the office in August and I worry what my co-workers are going to think when they see my body. I know that diets don’t work but I feel so heavy right now.
Thank you for this question. First, I want to extend compassion to you for what has been a very challenging couple of years. Eating as a means of comfort is one coping strategy many of us have used during the pandemic. I encourage you to reframe the thought, “I feel really heavy,” with more compassionate, less judgmental words:
“My body is larger than it used to be and that’s okay. I’m trying to give myself more compassion right now.”
“Every day, I tell myself that every body is a good body.”
“I am more than my body.”
If you have the budget, I encourage you to buy clothes and undergarments that fit comfortably and allow you to breathe and move freely.
Regarding how you’re feeling in your body, you’re right that diets cause harm - 95% of diets fail and dieting is a strong predictor of future weight gain. So, what can you do instead? Try focusing on ways to support your overall health such as getting enough sleep, making time for activities you enjoy, and moving your body in a way that feels good.
I also encourage you to ask yourself what you think when you see someone else who’s gained weight. How can you practice extending compassion towards them, both in your mind and in your interactions?
3. I’m a vegetarian and my digestive system has given me many “uh-oh” moments in the past. I discovered intuitive eating about a year ago and, in part, thanks to your newsletters, I began to notice that all the seeds and nuts I was eating were making me feel worse. Since taking them out of my diet, I feel so much better! My “uh-oh” moments have mostly gone away and I eat many foods I used not to allow myself to eat. However, I still worry sometimes if I’ve gone too far the other way. I eat pasta and toast with butter now, and I used to not eat gluten. I also wonder if I’m getting enough nutrients since I still don’t eat meat.
Thank you for letting me know that these newsletters have helped you! That’s great news that your digestive system feels better as a result of tuning into your body. It sounds like you’re eating a wider variety of foods and that you’re appreciating their taste more. I encourage you to stay connected to how this feels - the freedom to allow yourself to eat foods that bring you pleasure sounds healing and energizing to you.
Thoughts about whether foods are “healthy enough” is the voice of diet culture and it’s normal to still hear them. One way to fight back against these voices is to list what’s working about intuitive eating for you and to refer to that list when you hear them.
Since you mention having avoided gluten in the past, I’m curious if being a vegetarian is part of a restrictive eating pattern for you. When some people look more deeply at their reasons for cutting out meat, they learn that the underlying goal is about controlling their weight. For others, it’s unrelated to their body size and about their desire to not harm animals, to abide by religious laws, or to reduce environmental emissions.
If being a vegetarian is unrelated to weight control for you, then I encourage you to talk to your doctor about making sure you’re getting the nutrients your body needs. Routine blood work can be helpful. I’ve found that many people do fine on vegetarian diets, while others become anemic or it leads them down a path of more restrictive eating.
If being a vegetarian has been related to weight control for you in the past, but eating meat sounds more appealing now, ask yourself what animal protein sounds delicious to you. If you’re ready, make time to enjoy it and notice how you feel.
“A culture fixated on female thinness
is not an obsession about female beauty,
but an obsession about female obedience.
Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history;
a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
Naomi Wolf
